🗣 Honorifics vs Informal Speech in Korean (존댓말 vs 반말)

learning Korean honorifics and informal speech with city background

Korean isn’t just vocabulary and grammar. It’s also about who you are talking to: their age, status, and your relationship. The biggest step for many learners is understanding the difference between honorific speech (존댓말) and informal speech (반말).

The same sentence can sound warm and polite to your teacher but rude to your best friend—or the other way around—depending on the ending you choose. Let’s break it down in a simple, practical way.

🔍 What’s the Difference?

Honorific speech (존댓말) shows respect and distance. Use it with:

Older people (even siblings, cousins, in-laws)
People you don’t know well
Teachers, bosses, customers, or interviewers

Informal speech (반말) feels close, casual, and friendly. Use it with:

Close friends of similar age
Younger people (kids, students, etc.)
People who clearly gave you permission to talk casually

안전 규칙: 처음에는 항상 존댓말로 시작하고, 친해지면 반말로 바꾸는 것이 한국 문화에서 기본 매너예요.

🔊 Example Sentences: 존댓말 vs 반말

Here’s how the same meaning changes depending on the speech level.

💡 “Are you okay?”
존댓말: 괜찮으세요?
gwaenchanh-euseyo?
반말: 괜찮아?
gwaenchanha?
💡 “Did you eat?”
존댓말: 식사하셨어요?
siksaha-syeosseoyo?
반말: 밥 먹었어?
bap meogeosseo?
💡 “Thank you.”
존댓말: 감사합니다.
gamsahamnida.
반말: 고마워.
gomawo.
💡 “Goodbye.”
존댓말: 안녕히 가세요.
annyeonghi gaseyo.
반말: 잘 가.
jal ga.

🤝 Humble & Honorific Vocabulary

Korean doesn’t only change endings. It also changes words to show respect. These are called 겸양어 (humble expressions) and 존칭어 (honorific vocabulary).

Base Word	Honorific Form	Meaning
집 (jip)	댁 (daek)	House (someone else’s home)
이름 (ireum)	성함 (seongham)	Name (honorific)
먹다 (meokda)	드시다 (deusida)	To eat (honorific)
자다 (jada)	주무시다 (jumusida)	To sleep (honorific)

예를 들어, 할머니에게 “밥 먹었어?”라고 말하는 대신 “식사하셨어요?” 또는 “진지 드셨어요?”라고 하면 훨씬 더 공손하게 들립니다.

📝 When Is It Okay to Switch to 반말?

In Korean culture, switching from 존댓말 to 반말 is a big step. It usually means the relationship became closer or more personal.

You normally switch to 반말 when:

You are similar in age and agree to talk casually (e.g., “우리 말 편하게 하자.”)
You naturally become close friends over time
One person is clearly older and gives permission to use 반말

⚠️ Using 반말 too early can sound rude or arrogant. The safe rule is: always start with 존댓말, and let the Korean person suggest 반말.

🎭 Mini Practice Dialogue: From 존댓말 to 반말

A (Korean): 처음 뵙겠습니다. 어디에서 오셨어요?
cheoeum boepgetseumnida. eodieseo osyeosseoyo?
Nice to meet you. Where are you from?

B (You): 안녕하세요. 저는 미국에서 왔어요.
annyeonghaseyo. jeoneun migug-eseo wasseoyo.
Hello. I’m from the U.S.

A: 우리 나이도 비슷하고 이제 친구예요. 반말 해도 돼요.
uri naido biseutago ije chingu-yeyo. banmal haedo dwaeyo.
We’re about the same age, so we’re friends now. You can use informal speech.

B: 아, 그래요? 고마워!
a, geuraeyo? gomawo!
Oh, really? Thanks!

🔁 연습 팁: 마지막 문장들을 존댓말 버전으로도 바꿔 보세요. (예: “고마워요!”, “고맙습니다.”)

💡 Did You Know? (K-dramas & Speech Levels)

K-dramas often use 존댓말 and 반말 to show changes in relationships. If two characters start in 존댓말 and suddenly switch to 반말, it usually means something has changed emotionally:

They became close friends or teammates
They started (or ended!) a romantic relationship
They crossed a boundary—sometimes in a rude or dramatic way

다음에 드라마를 볼 때는 자막만 보지 말고, 언제 존댓말에서 반말로 바뀌는지 한 번 집중해서 들어 보세요. 한국어 감각이 훨씬 빨리 자랍니다.

✅ Quick Check Quiz

You meet your friend’s mother for the first time. Which level should you use?
A) 반말 B) Mix C) 존댓말 D) No Korean
Which is more polite?
A) 밥 먹었어? B) 식사하셨어요? C) 밥 먹어. D) 먹었니?
Your classmate (same age) says: “우리 이제 말 편하게 해도 돼.” What does it mean?
A) Use more difficult grammar
B) You can use 반말 now
C) Don’t talk to me
D) Only speak English

Show answers / 정답 보기

1) C

2) B

3) B

I hope this post helped you feel more confident about using 존댓말 and 반말. The more you listen, shadow, and try them in real conversations, the more natural your Korean will feel. Keep exploring the blog, test expressions with real people, and let Korean speech levels become part of your “instinct,” not just a grammar rule. 😊

Want to practice 존댓말 vs 반말 in real situations (meeting in-laws, talking to teachers, chatting with friends)?

In my 1:1 lessons, we role-play real Korean life: café, office, family dinner, and more—so you know exactly which speech level to use and why.

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실전 롤플레이로 “공손하지만 자연스러운 한국어”를 함께 만들어 봅시다. 🙂